Reconnect with each other.
Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling in Newton, Massachusetts
You’re tired of feeling disconnected from each other.
It’s like You can’t seem to get on the same page.
I’m willing to bet that…
You and your partner are looking for couples therapy in Newton because your relationship is struggling. You keep having the same fights over and over. You don't feel heard or understood. The arguments get worse fast. Blame and defense take over. Even worse, nothing gets fixed after fights. Issues never get fully talked through.
This cycle has ruined the trust between you. You wonder if your partner still has your back. The passion you used to have is gone. An emotional gap has come between you, leaving you feeling alone.
You want the closeness you used to share.
While your relationship is still good overall, you want to work on it before little problems get big. You know relationships take intentional nurturing, and you're ready for that.
The goal is to heal from past fights, connect on a regular basis, and make your relationship stronger. You're ready to break bad patterns so you can move forward in a good way together. This is where couples therapy comes in.
You and your partner are…
Struggling with communication breakdowns.
Frustrated by the unresolved conflicts.
Ready to repair the trust.
Missing the friendship and spark that you used to have.
Here’s what we’ll do together
Couples therapy in Newton can help you grow closer.
During couples therapy, you and your partner will learn new ways of relating to each other. Practicing this new skill will transform your relationship over time.
We'll work to create an environment where you both feel safe being vulnerable. This will allow you to discuss difficult topics openly and honestly. You'll finally be able to address hurts from the past and begin the healing process.
You'll develop communication tools and strategies to stop arguments before they spiral out of control. An essential part of the process will be listening to each other, understanding one another's perspectives, and expressing your own needs effectively. This will help you feel more connected and supported. The two of you will feel more at peace with each other.
Making a habit of showing love, admiration, and appreciation might sound simple. But it's so important for your marriage. It nurtures your friendship and buffers conflicts when they pop up.
You can start small — grab cannolis in the North End or get ice cream at Cabot's in Newtonville. During couples therapy in Newton, practicing big and small thoughtful gestures and appreciation for each other will become second nature.
Establishing shared routines reinforces your bond so you feel more connected. Take romantic walks around Crystal Lake, try a new restaurant in Newton Centre, or explore local Newton haunts together. Visiting Nehoiden Park for a picnic or catching a show at the Newton Theatre will also bring you closer. These new habits will strengthen your partnership.
The goal is to learn how to break negative cycles and improve your understanding of one another. This will help you move forward together in a healthier, more fulfilling direction. With effort and willingness, couples therapy can provide you with a roadmap to get there.
Couples Therapy Will Teach You the Necessary Skills & Tools to Transform the Relationship…
Throughout couples therapy, you and your partner will learn practical skills to improve interactions between the two of you.
Based on the Gottman Institute’s research and my own observations, learning and practicing these skills tend to transform marriages in the following ways:
Emotional Safety
Partners feel secure being vulnerable with each other
There's less walking on eggshells or fear of conflict
Both people feel accepted and understood, even during disagreements
Conflict Patterns
Arguments become more productive and less hostile
Couples can disagree without it threatening their relationship
Recovery from fights is faster and repair attempts are more successful
Small issues stay small instead of escalating into major fights
Day-to-Day Connection
There's more joy and playfulness in everyday interactions between the two of you
Partners notice and appreciate each other more
Small moments of connection become natural and frequent
Both people feel seen and valued in daily life
Intimacy and Closeness
Physical and emotional intimacy tends to improve
Partners stay curious about each other rather than assuming they know everything
There's a deeper sense of friendship underlying the romance
Trust becomes more solid and reliable
Individual Growth
Partners feel supported in pursuing personal goals
There's room for being your own person within the relationship
Both people can grow and change while staying connected
Resilience
The relationship becomes more stable during hard times
You quickly recover from misunderstandings, miscommunications, or hurt feelings
There's confidence that your relationship can handle whatever comes up (job loss, health challenges, etc.)
Shared Purpose
The relationship has deeper meaning beyond day-to-day logistics
Partners feel like they're building something meaningful together (ie: working towards shared goals like saving for a dream home)
There's a sense of being on the same team in life
Shared dreams and values become clearer
Mental and Physical Health
Both partners usually experience less chronic stress
There's often improvement in sleep quality and immune function
Mental health tends to improve with better relationship security
The home environment becomes more consistently peaceful
It's worth mentioning that "mastery" of these skills does NOT equal perfection — even the happiest of couples still have conflicts, hard days, and interactions they aren’t proud of. The difference is they have the necessary tools to repair after the fact.
The amount of progress a couple makes depends on many factors, including (but not limited to) their commitments to:
Each other and the relationship
The therapy process and the change process
Taking care of themselves (ie, their own mental health, personal growth, self-reflection, etc.)
What Should We Expect?
Below is a breakdown of the couples therapy sessions.
Before we start the process of infidelity recovery, I do a thorough and comprehensive assessment on all the couples I work with. This is standard practice done by Gottman trained couples therapists. The assessment phase is comprised of three 90-minute sessions.
Here is what that looks like for you:
Session One: 90 Minutes, Couple Together
I want to know about your relationship’s history. I’ll be asking questions about things such as: how you met, why you chose each other, what dating looked like for you, how you decided to get married, what you remember from your wedding and honeymoon, what the transition to becoming parents was like (if applicable), the happy times, and the stressful times.
These questions are intentional and give me a lot of context and detail for what your dynamic is like currently and how it’s been in the past.
Session Two: 90 Minutes, Each Partner is Seen Individually for 45 Minutes
I want to give you each a chance to talk to me privately about your narrative of the issues in the relationship, as well as your goals for couples therapy.
I will also ask questions about you as an individual person: your mental health, family history, relationship history, substance use, etc.
Please note: secrets are not kept in couples therapy. If the affair hasn’t ended, or if there is contact with the affair partner, etc., I will be making a plan with the betraying partner to tell their spouse during the following session.
In between sessions 2 and 3, I will email both of you a 480-question survey (“Relationship Checkup Survey”) about your relationship.
You both get the same survey, but your answers are kept private and only I am able to see them. Under no circumstances will I ever share your answers with your partner.
The software that scores your survey will give us an overview of the strengths of your relationship, as well as the challenges. This overview will serve as a road map for the couples therapy moving forward.
Session 3: 90 Minutes, Couple Together
During this session we will go over the Relationship Checkup Survey. You will be given information about the strengths and challenges of your relationship based on your answers, and what it will look like during therapy to address the issues. Theory and research are discussed so that you have an understanding for why we’re doing what we’re doing.
Most of the time, the results of the survey are not surprising to the couple. But, it is helpful to talk about where these problems come from and what they look like in practice, not just in theory, as well as what it looks like to change them. It also gives some hope to see your strengths as a couple highlighted.
Session 4 and Beyond
During the subsequent sessions, we will focus on the 3 phases of infidelity counseling (see above). When clients ask how long the overall process takes, I typically say to plan for 1-2 years. That doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll meet every week for that long, but it does typically mean that your relationship is in the healing phase for that amount of time. Of course, this varies by couple and could be longer (ie: if there have been multiple affairs, the level of remorse and honesty, the willingness of each partner to be open and vulnerable, etc).
Go from this…
“You never listen to me!”
“I only did this because you did that!”
Yelling, slamming doors, or threatening divorce during disagreements.
Eye-rolling, sarcasm, name-calling.
To this…
Talk about your emotions and express a need.
Take responsibility and own up to your behavior without blaming your partner.
Take a break and self-soothe when emotions are running high.
Validating your partner’s perspective even if you have a different perspective.
Couples therapy in Newton is a good fit if…
Are committed to your relationship, but feel stuck when it comes to how to improve it.
Are open to feedback and changing your behavior both in session and at home.
Are interested in the science and research behind what makes relationships go the distance.
Want additional resources for learning like books, blog articles, and podcasts.
Couples therapy in Newton is not a good fit if…
You’re not willing to work on your behavior and you’d rather blame your spouse for the problems.
There is ongoing domestic violence or infidelity you aren’t willing to be honest about.
One or both of you are strongly considering divorce. Please see discernment counseling instead.
You are set on divorce and are only looking for mediation or coparenting support.
Let’s get started.
Questions?
FAQs
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Yes! The methods I use in couples therapy sessions are supported by over 40 years of scientific research with thousands of couples.
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No, because it’s almost never just one person’s fault — it is a dynamic between two people.
In every conflict, I believe each of you have your own individual perspective, and you both are right. You each come from your own specific background of experiences, beliefs, and values. Rather than litigating “the facts”, it’s more important for both partners to learn to effectively express themselves and validate each other.
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Ending the relationship is a serious decision that only you and your partner can make. It’s not my place or my role to advise whether or not your relationship should continue. My job is to help each of you adjust your behavior for the betterment of yourself, your partner, and your relationship. In doing this, you can make an informed decision about the future. With that being said, if you and your partner come to the place where the decision to end the relationship is on the table, I will walk through that with you.
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Definitely not! Many partners come in because they want outside help before making a major life decision such as getting married, moving in together, etc. In fact, you don’t even need to be partnered to benefit from the type of skills a person learns in therapy. Lots of people come into therapy to process through and learn from a break up or a divorce, or to work on themselves so they can be a better future partner.
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Getting started is easy! Just contact me with any questions or concerns, or to schedule your first therapy session.
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Couples therapy in Newton is conducted 100% online. I use a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform that is simple to use.
Emergency Mental Health Resources in Newton, Massachusetts
Driving directions to Newton, MAssachusetts
From the North: Take I-93 South to I-95 South. Continue on I-95 South and take Exit 21 for Route 16 toward Wellesley/Newton. Follow Route 16 East into Newton.
From the South: Take I-95 North to Exit 21 for Route 16 toward Wellesley/Newton. Follow Route 16 East into Newton.
From the East: Take Route 9 West or Beacon St heading west. These routes will lead you into Newton from Boston.
From the West: Take I-90 East (Mass Pike) to Exit 17 (Newton-Watertown). Continue on Washington Street, and this will lead you into Newton.
About Newton, MA
Newton, Massachusetts is a city located in Middlesex County, about seven miles west of downtown Boston.
It is known for its excellent public school system, as well as being home to several prestigious private schools like Newton Country Day School.
Notable landmarks in Newton include the historic Jackson Homestead, the beautiful Chestnut Hill Reservoir, and the popular Crystal Lake swimming area.
People are drawn to Newton for its safe, family-friendly neighborhoods, abundance of green spaces and recreational opportunities, convenient access to Boston, and overall high quality of life. The city is also appreciated for its diversity and engaged community.