Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling in Andover, MA

Below is a breakdown of the couples therapy process.

Before we start the process of working on the relationship, I do a thorough and comprehensive assessment on all the couples I work with. This is standard practice done by Gottman trained couples therapists. The assessment phase is comprised of three 90-minute sessions.

Here is what that looks like for you:

Session One: 90 Minutes, Couple Together

I want to know about your relationship’s history. I’ll be asking questions about things such as: how you met, why you chose each other, what dating looked like for you, how you decided to get married, what you remember from your wedding and honeymoon, what the transition to becoming parents was like (if applicable), the happy times, and the stressful times.

These questions are intentional and give me a lot of context and detail for what your dynamic is like currently and how it’s been in the past.

Session Two: 90 Minutes, Each Partner is Seen Individually for 45 Minutes

I want to give you each a chance to talk to me privately about your narrative of the issues in the relationship, as well as your goals for couples therapy.

I will also ask questions about you as an individual person: your mental health, family history, relationship history, substance use, etc.

Please note: while I will honor your privacy, secrets are not kept in couples therapy.

In between sessions 2 and 3, I will email both of you a 480-question survey (“Relationship Checkup Survey”) about your relationship.

You both get the same survey, but your answers are kept private and only I am able to see them. I won’t be sharing your answers with your partner under any circumstances.

The software that scores your survey will give us an overview of the strengths of your relationship, as well as the challenges. This overview will serve as a road map for the couples therapy moving forward.

Session 3: 90 Minutes, Couple Together

During this session we will go over the Relationship Checkup Survey. You will be given information about the strengths and challenges of your relationship based on your answers, and what it will look like during therapy to address the issues. Theory and research are discussed so that you have an understanding for why we’re doing what we’re doing.

Most of the time, the results of the survey are not surprising to the couple. But, it is helpful to talk about where these problems come from and what they look like in practice, not just in theory, as well as what it looks like to change them. It also gives some hope to see your strengths as a couple highlighted.

Session 4 and Beyond

During the subsequent sessions, we will focus on treating the issues in the relationship. When clients ask how long the overall process takes, I typically say to plan for 6 months - 2 years. That doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll meet every week for that long, but it does typically mean that your relationship is in the treatment phase for that amount of time. Of course, this varies by couple and could be longer or shorter, depending on the circumstances and needs of the couple.

Typical issues addressed in session 4 and beyond include, but are definitely not limited to:

• The foundational friendship between the two of you: how well you really know each other, how you express [or don't express] fondness and appreciation, and how you respond to each other's needs and desires for connection.

• How conflict is handled in your marriage: the way emotional topics are brought up, how the discussion progresses, and whether or not you are able to repair after a painful interaction.

• Perpetual problems - the disagreements you continually fight about and can't seem to come to an agreement or compromise on: in-laws, parenting, household labor, finances, etc.

• Trust: whether or not you believe your partner has your back and acts in your best interest, not just their own.

Insurance and Payment Information

My fee is $300 per 60-minutes. Sessions that are 90-minutes are billed at $450. I am happy to offer a Superbill with a Z-code for you to submit to your insurance company, but not every insurance company reimburses for Z-codes so you would need to ask customer service about your specific policy. I am not in network with any insurance company so I am unable to bill them directly.